Lately I have been reading a lot about purpose. My heart’s desire is to live each day fulfilling my creator’s purpose for my life — living the life I was specifically designed for. We all have this life we plan to live and if you are a planner like I am, you mapped it out and likely revised the map multiple times over the years. One of the items on my life map was to be a mom – specifically a mom of a little girl. I planned it all out – of course. If I am being totally honest and vulnerable, I even have a little red Christmas Tutu that I purchased for the baby girl in my future, that still remains in my closet. At one point, my real life had not just one baby girl in it, but two. Identical twin girls — a slight deviation from my plan but exciting none the less. My pregnancy with those beautiful little girls also did not go according to my plan. After a challenging 16 weeks being pregnant I spent a week in the labor delivering them (stillborn). That loss left a hole in my heart and in my family. After much prayer and discussion, we decided to become foster parents with the goal of adopting. I was excited about the purpose-filled life of caring for as the bible puts it, “the orphans (and widows).” This was me doing my part in God’s greater mission. This was me participating in the co-mission of Christ.
Again, we mapped it out, but this time as a family. We came up with the age range, gender, characteristics and preferences for our future addition(s). Already having two boys, we unanimously decided that a girl was what we wanted and needed. We wanted her to be somewhere between 4 and 10 (aligned to our boys’ ages). That would be great. A new daughter to fit perfectly into our family. Once we were certified, we continued to have kids outside of our preference range be put before us. We couldn’t help but ask why? Is someone not reading our preferences? We felt they were kind of being ignored. The truth is that they were being ignored — ignored by the purpose giver Himself. Isn’t it funny how we map out exactly how we want our purpose-filled life to look? Funny that we think that God’s purpose is about our preference and our checklists. Once we stop looking for God’s purpose for our life to start lining up with our precise preferences, He has the opportunity to use us to do things we never imagined.
Purpose is about God using us how and where He sees fit; how and where He needs us to be a blessing. Purpose is not like volunteer work when we decide which group we want to belong to and help out. God doesn’t ask for our preference list. He doesn’t consult us on our parameters. He doesn’t solicit our suggestions on the matter. Our purpose and calling belong to Him. He puts it before us and all He requires of us is a willing heart to go. Isaiah 6:8 reads, “then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
He doesn’t ask where we would like to go, with whom, to serve whom. All He wants is for us to say Lord Here I am, Send Me.
So, here I am. Here my family is — embarking on a journey, not to know, love and embrace a four year old girl, who I could still potentially get into a little tutu, but accepting God’s call to step out beyond what we thought our preference was and get to know a beautifully sweet 14 year old. I don’t know where this road will lead but here I am Lord, send me.
Have you ever limited God’s purpose for your life by requiring it to line up with your preferences? Drop me a line. I would love to hear from you. Be blessed!